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mood |
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contemplative |
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music |
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Sigur Ros, "Saeglopur" |
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Life would be very boring without realizations.
However, usually realizations only come from turmoil. So, I suppose we must take the good with the bad.
This weekend, I was involved in a mural project. I have been looking forward to making a mural for some time: it is even one of my goals on my yearly birthday list this year. So, when I recieved word that a local art group was looking for artists to participate in a special mural project, I jumped at the opportunity.
The group requested sketch submissions of projects: I submitted mine and was accepted. I was delighted. And, because I have never created a mural before, I spent the next 2 weeks asking numerous questions to the head of the art group, asking about what I would need, dimensions, etc.
Throughout all these discussions, this gentleman never bothered to tell me the following important facts:
1. The location of the mural was essentially in the middle of nowhere.
2. Being in the middle of nowhere, the mural location is a mile and a half from anywhere you can park your car. 3. The six foot wall was actually a four foot wall for the majority of its length. 4. The location is currently constantly painted over by graffitti artists -- and it is legal for them to paint in this location.
I arrived at the location after a twenty minute walk. I can only describe the experience as walking to meet someone somewhere where no one would find the body. When I arrived, I discovered that everyone else familiar with the area had brought spray paint. Meanwhile, I had 8 GALLONS of paint in my car, a mile and a half away. Almost all of the 6 foot + locations were already claimed, and everyone else had to settle for the 4 foot high sections that made up the majority of the wall.
Confused and rather perterbed, I set about trying to find the gentleman who I'd been in contact with. When I found him, I addressed my surprise regarding the information he had failed to tell me. I told him how if he would have told me that the wall was not as tall, I would have spent a great deal less money on paint, and that if he told me the difficulty in reaching the location, I would have brought spray paint. I told him I didn't know how I was going to get my paint out there.
He said, "Well, I can't help you." And then he walked away.
Words can't even express my anger and dissapointment. I looked around dejectedly at the other people, happily painting. I couldn't believe that this person had given me such innacurate information. I had spent a majority of the night before and that morning preparing for this event, spent a great deal of money getting materials together, only to discover that there was no way I was going to be able to paint. Depressed, I started to make my way back to my car.
But a very nice man pushing a stroller stopped me. He asked me if I was going to be painting. I explained my situation. He then offered to help me get my paint. I looked at him, I looked at the stroller he was pushing. I declined, saying I didn't want to bother anyone, and besides, there was more than he and I could carry. But he was persistant, moreso than me. "We can find some people to help, and I can fit some paint in the stroller.
For every bad turn, I guess there's a good one waiting around the corner. True to his word, this guy grabbed up one of the other guys, and the four of us (three grown-ups, one baby) made our way back to my car, got the paint, and brought it back to the spot. It took a good 45 minutes the whole way. I assumed that this guy must have worked for the art group, but when I asked him I found out he was just a local who wanted to help. I couldn't believe how kind he was.
In the end, the gentleman came over and apologized about not helping me. Of course, he did all this AFTER all the paint made it to the site. Later in the day, he took a look at my progress, and said "It's beautiful -- how do you feel knowing it'll probably be painted over in a week?"
I just looked at him. What else could I do?
But here, my friends is the kicker: in our emails, I mentioned how previously at an art show, someone from his art group had appraoched me and asked if I might be interested in displaying my work at a local yoga studio/gallery. I had mentioned to the gentleman my interest in pursuing this idea, and he had told me that we could discuss it more on the day of the mural-painting.
At the end of the day, as the gentleman helped me bring some paint back to my car (which I had to move to an illegal spot, to bring the majority of the paint back by myself) I inquired about the possible gallery space. He then informs me that there is no gallery space - his group only shows outdoors these days. I suppose this piece of information could not be shared over the internet.
I am still very upset over the situation. I felt incredibly hurt and decieved. In hindsight, I don't actually believe the gentleman set out to decieve me, so much as he was just inexperienced and unqualified. This information should have been clear and at the forefront of this project.
This actually made me reevaluate the shows I have been participating in. I have discovered that more and more, the amatuer arena has been leaving me frustrated and angry. However, I have been too afraid of rejection to try to get into more professional shows. But this event actually made me reconsider whether painting was worth it, which made me feel horrible. I would much rather feel rejection, than the anger and embarrassment I felt this weekend. From this point on, I will be much more critical on the art projects I elect to work with.
I am writing this less as a means to vent, and more because I hope that my experience might be informative to other artists out there. Aim high, or don't be surprised when you end up in the middle of nowhere.
The sketch of the mural:
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